The Conversation on the Day of the Women’s March No One’s Gonna Like

The Conversation on the Day of the Women’s March No One’s Gonna Like

Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in.  

There are defined groups of beliefs and ideologies in our society and I often find myself in the gray overlap between two opposing groups of thought.  Especially when discussing the two taboo subjects of politics and religion.  Boom… yes, I said it… politics and religion…

I was raised in the Roman Catholic faith and yet I describe myself as a Cafeteria Catholic.  There are so many things I like and do not like about the R.C. Church… so, I find myself taking what I like and leaving the rest. And that behavior has left many devout Catholics denying I am a Catholic. So be it.

I am not a Democrat or Republican.  

I am not liberal or conservative.

I am not a feminist or misogynist (obviously).

And I also find myself sitting somewhere in between the pro-life and pro-choice groups.  My personal beliefs are not popular with either group and I find myself once again not feeling a member of either.  So be it.

But, on the exact day millions of women were marching in DC for Women’s Rights… the latter example popped up in a conversation with my very strong minded, very independent, very liberal, very sweet 18 year old daughter.  In her opinion I am pro-life … and as she sat across the table from me eating a taco salad… she asked a little inquisitively and with some obvious judgement in her voice: “Mom, how can you be pro-life… how can you NOT be pro-choice?!?!”  All being said with a look of disgust on her face which made me think she may had just bit into her lime garnish.

I smiled and answered… “Actually, I don’t think the pro-lifers would include me in their group.”

“But you’re not pro-choice!… so what are you mom?”

I gave it a seconds thought, and with all the women’s march drama swirling in my mind, I blurted out:    “I’m pro-women”.  To which she fake coughed her reply… “Bullsh*t”.

And then I tried to explain to my daughter why I believe I’m pro-women:

“Honestly, I’m torn on this whole pro-life/pro-choice debate. I can see valid points made in both arguments… but from my perspective it looks like this…  

There are individual situations where an abortion may be necessary.  I’m not going to debate why or why not a situation is necessary, although I would hope common sense could help determine true “necessity”.  (This belief will keep me from belonging to the PL group)

And because I believe abortions are probably very painful psychologically, emotionally and physically for the women having to choose and have one, if we don’t make them such an easily accessible choice… maybe it will actually encourage women to consider other options that cause less suffering?  Or help women make life choices to not put themselves in the position to need one …?”

My daughter didn’t look convinced, so I continued…

“Many people believe women must have control and a choice over their bodies.  I agree with that, however I see it differently.  The one thing (at this point in time) we don’t have any control over is… if sexual intercource results in a pregnancy… it is the woman, who get’s pregnant. Therefore, her control and choice over her body truly begins whether she chooses to have sexual intercourse or not, and whether she trusts birth control or not.  Because once she’s pregnant, it’s not just about her anymore.”  

This is when my sweet daughter got feisty.

“MOM!!!!!”…. “YOU ARE SUCH A SEXIST!!!!!!!” She spat out.

I laughed “Honey, I don’t think they’d let me in their group either”

So be it.


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