Tag Archives: overwhelmed

Facing Mother’s Day with a Broken Heart

Facing Mother’s Day with a Broken Heart

Welcome Back!

Back ? Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

There I was, minding my own business in the Pasta aisle at Walmart, deciding between Vermicelli and Capellini, when I experienced the creepiest encounter ever… like a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Past.

 

I heard her behind me. And before I even saw her, I was transported 17 years back in time.

She was desperately trying to soothe her fussy infant in the grocery cart as her 10 and 4 year old were peppering her with non-stop questions, requests, demands and poking each-other.

 

She looked exhausted… Physically, Mentally and Emotionally.

There was a spit-up stain on her shoulder and yesterday’s mascara was faintly noticeable… adding a deeper shade to her already dark circles.

 

Our eyes met and communicated the words we didn’t need to speak.

I so badly wanted to validate her pain, so I smiled gently and softly said:

“It’s hard”.

And that’s when this poor young mother lost it.

 

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she choked out the words…

“It’s SO HARD.  

I wish my husband realized just how hard it is.  

But he’s never home!  

He works late hours, so I can stay home with the kids… and I never get a break!  

I’m totally drained……..

It’s just SO HARD!”

 

And then she looked at her kids who were obviously her pride and joy and as she wiped away her tears she smiled and said…

“But, it’s worth it… It won’t ALWAYS be this hard… when they grow up it’ll be much easier”.

 

And that’s when I lost it, and as tears streamed down my cheeks, I choked back the words I wanted to say and turned away so she couldn’t see my reaction.  As I stared at boxes of pasta through blurry tears, I felt an empty pain deep in my heart .

 

I wanted to tell her… “Oh my dear, you have no idea just how much harder it can get. Years after you’ve given Everything there is to give, your husband just may happen to come home after “that business trip” or “working late” one night and ask you for a divorce.  

 

He will walk away with his high paying job, executive level earning power and retirement fund, while you walk away with the job description of ‘Housewife and Mom’ added to your resume.

 

And then he just may drag you through the family court system for years, constantly trying to negotiate paying less and less in child support until he manipulates the legal system to eventually pay you nothing at all… and along the way he’ll cause you to pay thousands and thousands in lawyer fees.

 

Then just when you thought your heart couldn’t break anymore… Your kids will see you as the Crabby Complainer and their dad (who, by the way, was busy “working late” their whole childhood) as the go-to parent. He’ll hold all the cards, and bribe them with promises of buying them a car when they turn 16….and…

 

And when your teenage daughter strikes the final blow, by telling you she’d rather live with her dad because you’re barely scraping by and he can easily afford to buy her whatever she wants… including a generous makeup and clothing allowance, you’ll wonder if it was really all worth it.

 

And then after living under his negative influence for a while, she’ll be blinded by the illusion of his spin on reality and there will only be a glimmer of your sweet little girl left behind. She will gladly align with him and forget who you are.

 

But, instead I chose to wipe away my tears and simply wished her a Happy Mother’s Day and she wished me the same.

 

Little did she know, this Sunday, my Mother’s Day will be far from anything I’d dreamed of or hoped for.

 

There are many moms who may not receive that Hallmark moment of recognition and gratitude from their children they long for.

 

There are many different reasons why this Mother’s Day may be filled with disappointment, heartache and sadness for many moms.

 

Remember, sometimes simply knowing you’re not alone makes it all much easier… along with a dish of delicious pasta and a nice bottle of red.

 

The Top 3 Things Wrong With Generation Z ( a.k.a Today’s Teens)

The Top 3 Things Wrong With Generation Z ( a.k.a Today’s Teens)

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

 

Today’s teens who were born between 1994 and 2004, belong to Generation Z.

 

And Gen. Z doesn’t get the best press.

  • A Huffington Post described Gen. Z as “lazy, unaware, and apathetic”.
  • “Gen. Z is entitled, lazy, selfish, tech savvy, and yet incompetent,” -S. Greenfield
  • “Many describe Gen. Z as lazy, self-entitled, tech-dependent, and narcissistic.” -D. Sylvia

 

So, What’s wrong with today’s teenagers???

  1. Their PARENTS!
  2. Their PARENTS!
  3. Their PARENTS!

These Parents were born on The Baby Boomer & Generation X Cusp.  

Known for great success in educational, financial and social arenas.  

Portrayed as a powerful generation of optimism, and achievement.

 

Elite Daily had an article that compared today’s teens with their parents:

Generation Z is used to being spoon fed everything, while their parents worked hard for everything that they currently have.

The Baby Boomer generation understood that the world didn’t owe them anything. They were a more independent generation, as they didn’t really have much of a crutch to lean on in comparison to Gen. Z.

Gen.Z’s an entitled generation, babied by their parents and society and it has really damaged their work ethic and the way they go about life.

They expect things to be done for them and if something requires a little extra work or concentration, they’re easily deterred from doing it.

 

Do I get a: AMEN!!!!!

 

Spring is in the air and it’s a perfect time to witness this phenomenon.

As the temperatures rise, so does the blood pressure of most The Parents.

 

Here are some examples:

  • Billy is failing Biology and the final exam is only weeks away.

Who’s in a panic, Billy or The Parents?

Ummmm, The Parents?  

Yep!

WHAT CAN THEY DO???  They scramble to find a tutor….$50/hour…$100…

No problem, they’ll do anything to prevent Billy from experiencing the direct consequences of the poor choices he made all year long.  

 

  • Katie’s Prom is next month

She finds her favorite dress on the internet.  It’s perfect and she has to have it, but it costs more than most wedding dresses and Katie doesn’t have a job.  

Does she get the dress?

Of course she does!

The Parents buy it for her and, they’ll also throw in a stretch Limo and host a lavish pre-prom photo-op party for all of Katie’s friends and their Parents.

Everyone will look stunning in all the pics posted on FB, especially Katie in her lovely dress..

 

  • Nikki’s a Junior and college is 2 years away

Does she have to worry about it now?

Nope.  She probably hasn’t even given it a minutes thought,

BUT THE PARENTS HAVE.

Infact, The Parents have probably spent most of their Spring

  • Researching ACT/SAT testing dates and review classes to sign her up for
  • Mapping out college visits
  • Getting all the ducks in a row for the college application process

And Nikki will accompany The Parents on these college visits, looking apathetic and mostly texting on her phone and taking selfies along the campus tour.

 

I have a confession:  I was born in 1963 and I have three kids… do the math.

 

Our kids are CODDLED… SPOILED.

And we only have ourselves to blame.

 

Why can’t we let our kids experience their own failures… the disappointments of not getting everything they want?  

 

Are we protecting them or ourselves??

Are we so addicted to success, that we can’t even imagine our own children may fail?  

Do we feel our children’s achievements or failures are a reflection of us… our strength, weakness or flaws??

 

Even if we won’t admit it… It’s common knowledge we’ll do anything to help our kids succeed.

 

Our kids know it and so does everyone else.

 

In fact, high school teachers and administrators will bet on it.  

They know teens will do NOTHING all year long and therefore rely on The Parents to swoop in, save the day and make sure there will be students to pass and graduate.  

So, they created this thing called The Parent Portal and it enables The Parents to enable their teens.  

Most High School Websites now have a “Parent Portal” where The Parents can (at any moment) access their teens class schedule, assignment/project/quiz/ test deadlines and grades.

It’s like The Parents can now have a VIRTUAL SEAT right in their Teens Classroom!!!!

 

Ironically, The Parents  graduated from high school and college with very little help or involvement from their own parents and yet feel DIRECTLY responsible for the academic success or failure of their own kids.  

Heck, my parents didn’t even know where my high school was!!

 

So, while our teens are absorbed in their social-media life…perfecting their duckie-face selfie or building their biceps at the gym… we’re chewing their food and spitting it into their mouths like momma Robins.   

 

And their still FAILING…  

Which just makes us work harder at saving them, because God-forbid they fail a class…

How will they get accepted into a GOOD COLLEGE?????  

And once they get into college, this dynamic will just continue.

They’ll perform mediocre at best as we struggle to write every tuition check.  If their failing a course, we’ll encourage them to “DROP IT!!”.  We’d rather pay for courses they didn’t take, than have them suffer the consequences of an F.  And we’ll all stay on this Hamster Wheel, until we STOP!

These kids don’t stand a chance at any resemblance of personal or professional success, UNLESS we remove their CRUTCH… (by realizing we’re the Crutch)!!!

So, in the upcoming weeks… among the onslaught of FB posted Prom, Senior and Graduation pics… steady yourself for the declaration of “What college acceptance Billy’s chosen!!!”   

And who do you think will be posting all of these accomplishments….                                                                                                The Teen or The Parent that earned them?

[Disclaimer: Yes, maybe there’s always that one teen & parent that’s an exception…  😉  ]

 

For a Friend

For a Friend

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

It all started a few days ago.  

I was writing on my laptop, enjoying my first cup of coffee, when I heard something in the other room.  It sounded like something was hitting the window.  

 

I walked into the family room to check it out, and sure enough, a robin was repeatedly flying into the window.  The minute it saw my reflection it flew away.  

 

I was relieved it hadn’t hurt itself and went back to my writing.

 

No sooner had I returned to my laptop, when I heard the same persistent sound again.

 

Bang……..………..…(wait for it)………………..Bang…………..(and again)……………… Bang!  

 

I walked back into the room and the robin flew away again.  

I thought:   “Geez, poor bird.  It’s gonna hurt itself.”

 

I figured by now this bird must’ve realized it keeps hitting something hard and obviously impermeable and finally flew away somewhere else.   

 

I went back to my writing.  And, I kid you not, within minutes, it started again.

 

Seriously?!?!  

I was shocked.  How could a bird be that stupid…or that stubborn???  Then I recalled hearing stories about how an animal’s instincts can cause it to repeat behavior over and over, even if it results in physical injury or worse.

 

And we’ve all heard the quote:

“Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results is the definition of Insanity!!”

 

WTHeck!?!? I didn’t have the time, energy or desire to deal with an insane robin!

Every time I walked into the room, it would fly away… but, it would come right back and keep doing the same stupid Banging!!

 

I couldn’t keep walking in and out of the family room all day.  

 

So, I observed its behavior from a vantage point where it couldn’t see me.  

There’s a tree next to the window, and this robin sits on its branch and then takes a header into the window… knocks itself silly and then does it again!!!

 

I wasn’t sure how to help this poor bird, so I tried a few ideas:

 

  • I taped some foil to the window— this didn’t help, it just moved to a different section of the window!

  • Then I designed a replica of myself (like a scarecrow) using chairs, pillows, blankets, etc— this didn’t help.  I added a fan to give the materials some movement— no help!!

  • Then I cut-off the branch it was sitting on— it just moved to another branch! (I thought about cutting down the whole tree, but deep down I knew that wouldn’t help either.)

  • I screamed at it: “What is WRONG with you… are you TRYING to kill yourself!?!?”— no help.

  • Then I opened the window (which has a screen)— Voila, this seemed to help, but we’ve been having a lovely winter this spring and the house was getting a bit chilly (considering the 19* temps outside) so I ultimately closed the window.

By this time it was dusk and Thank Goodness the silly bird retired for the evening!!

 

The next morning I’d forgotten all about the bird until… it started AGAIN!!!

Bang………………………………..Bang………………………………….Bang!

 

WoW!!! It certainly was a consistent little bugger.

 

This time I tied up the window-blind strings and positioned the fan to blow them around. And the Good News is, it seemed to solve the problem.

 

There is just one issue.  This contraption has to be turned on constantly until dusk.  If I forget to turn it on… I am reminded by a persistent:

 

Bang……………… ……………..Bang………………………………….Bang!

And I know there may come a day when this latest fan/string contraption won’t help anymore and I fear finding that bird lying dead under the tree.

 

This whole ordeal has really ruffled my feathers.

No, I am serious!  

 

It is unnerving to try and help another when their behavior is going to hurt them (or worse), and most of your intervention does absolutely nothing .

 

The moments when I waited to see if a new preventative method worked, were absolutely grueling.  My heart would sink (& I’d inevitably feel like a failure) every time I’d hear the Banging start-up again.

 

The very worst letdown was when I thought I’d finally helped, because things quieted down… but then inevitably it would start again.

 

I’m always looking for the silver lining, or lesson learned from facing challenges in life.

And this situation unfortunately mirrored the greatest challenge we all face as human beings:

   The pain and frustration we feel

by watching those we Love

repeat behaviors

that hurt them or can eventually kill them.

 

The hardest thing to endure it to stand-by helplessly.  

And yet that is all you can do.  

Because if they want to Bang into that window… They will… And there’s nothing you can do to stop them.

 

Lesson 101 in loving someone, who is actively engaging in harmful behaviors… is to know there is very little you can do.  It is up to them if they want to change or stop.

We. All. Have. Free. Will.

 

These past few days I learned some important reminders.  

 

Here are some things you can do:

  • You do what you can to help.

  • You realize there is no magic wand to make it all better (no matter how much you beg, scream, cry, plead, wish, hope or pray).

  • You learn to live with your feeling of helplessness.

  • You accept you have no control over another’s Free Will.  You surrender trying to impose yours.

  • You eventually Let Go (and let God).

  • You remember to take care of yourself.

… a little birdie told me so!  

 

 

Keep It Simple, Keep It Real

Keep It Simple, Keep It Real

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

 

Keep it Simple…. Keep it Real.  

Sounds easy, huh??  Well, turns out (sometimes) it’s not so easy.  

Sometimes we become trapped by the Illusions of Life, and it’s hard to break free.

 

I recently had a birthday.

And like many people, my birthday’s not just a time to indulge in  

the-once-a-year-guilt-free-dark-chocolate-cake-n-mint-chocolate-chip-ice cream

it’s also a time for self-reflection.

 

This year I reflected upon the importance of “Keeping it Simple and Real”.  

Reminding myself to slow down and strive for clarity, balance and harmony.  

And remembering, sometimes the challenges in our lives, often teach us the best lessons.

 

I was a newlywed during the Reagan Era and was swooped-up into the,

More Is Better Mentality.  

Reaganomics resulted in the greatest Wall Street Bull Market since the 1920s.  

It was an Era of Great Prosperity… generating more wealth, for American families, than any other time in US History!!

 

And in keeping with Madonna’s (1985) mega-hit “Material Girl”… my lifestyle mirrored the relevant lyrics of the time:

Cause we are living in a material world

And I am a material girl

 

I checked ALL the boxes:

  • Town & Country McMansion 
  • Luxury Cars
  • Country Club Memberships
  • Black-tie Galas
  • Exclusive Resort Vacations
  • More & More & More!!

So, what insight did I gain from acquiring so much stuff during the 80s???

#1.  It was exhausting.

#2.  It made life chaotic, complicated and confusing!

#3.  Sometimes material things become a replacement for the

        more meaningful things in life.  

 

About a decade ago…there was one day that clearly put it all into perspective for me:

 

I was at a stop light and looked at the woman in the car next to me.  

She was lovely and had a look of luxury.  

Her hair perfectly coiffed, awesome sunglasses, expensive jewelry

and she had that confident smile and overall look of contentment.  

I noticed she was driving a Mercedes-Benz

and made a mental note to myself:

 

“Of course she’s HAPPY…

she’s living the dream in her fancy Mercedes,

with all of her  fancy “things”…”

 

In contrast, I felt worn-out, stressed, empty….

genuinely wanting.

It was easy for me to believe she had what I needed.

And as the light turned green, and I glanced back to the road ahead of me…

I noticed the Mercedes-Benz symbol on my own steering wheel

of my brand-new car.

 

Turns out for me, More wasn’t Better and Fancy things weren’t the answer!

 

Shortly after that day of reckoning…

I was faced with a choice between the two (material things or meaningful things), and I handed them all over in exchange for ___________.  

   (You Name It… Just Fill-in-the-Blank)

 Freedom

  Harmony

Reality

Clarity

Peace

                                                                          Truth

                                                                            Etc…

 

I handed it all back to the hollow person I shared that life with… (on a Silver Platter in fact, LoL) and I had No Regrets.

 

All of those Things were just providing smoke n’ mirrors to create an illusion and confuse me into believing, it was a Good Life…

when the truth was, I was in an empty relationship and I wasn’t living my life authentically.

I longed for something simple and real.

 

Don’t get me wrong… some people can live that exclusive “Town & Country Lifestyle”,

authentically and happily  (or at least I think they do??)…

it just wasn’t a good fit for me.  

It all became a band-aid and distraction to cover-up what was really missing…

what was truly important.

 

Of course, I still love pretty things and adventurous travel… But, I feel (at this ripe old age) the Bridges I’ve crossed have helped me to finally arrive Back  Home

Full Circle, where I belong, where I want to be.

 

Ironically, my sister sent me this Birthday Card which pretty much sums it up!!

.  

 

Keep It Simple, Keep It Real & Smile Along The Way!!!

 

Spoiler Alert… (A Mother’s Prayers)

Spoiler Alert… (A Mother’s Prayers)

 

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

Spoiler Alert: This story has a Happy Ending!!

 

Someone posted the illustration below on FB the other day and it really hit home with me.    

Since having my three kids, I will admit I have never spent more time on my knees praying for their protection and well being.

FullSizeRender (11)

 

Even before I had kids, I always felt the most disturbing scene in a movie was when Shirley Maclaine’s character is pleading for pain medication for her dying daughter in Terms of Endearment.    

OMG, I can’t even post the actual clip here, because it literally tears my heart right out.

termsofendear4

The Fact is, when it comes to Our Children it seems

Worry and Love 

are synonymous and synergistic.  

Then again, I grew-up in a Sicilian/Spanish family, so I’m not sure if that increases the intensity of this synergistic effect.

♥ 

This all got me thinking about an important story in my life.

 

I delivered my third child, a daughter, the day before Thanksgiving.  It was my third C-section and this one was very complicated and difficult.  But, there were many reasons why she was my miracle baby.  

 

I remember every moment of her First Thanksgiving dinner…  

I was filled with gratitude as my precious baby girl and I snuggled together in our hospital bed.  She rested peacefully in my arms feasting on mama’s milk, while I looked forward to every delicious pump of my Morphine drip.    

 

And back home, my parents were having the full Thanksgiving dinner I had prearranged (from Wegman’s Catering) with my two young sons and husband (now, ex)… whom I will call “Hex”.

 

Before the family came to see us following their pumpkin pie dessert, in walked my favorite nurse to see how we were doing.  

I don’t remember her name, but I will call her: Madea because… She. Was. Madea.  

God, I LOVED her!!  She was AWESOME, Funny and Protective.  

 

On the day of my daughter’s delivery, Madea overheard Hex bragging about the important 10-day business trip to South Africa he’d be leaving for in less than a week, and how cool it was going to be…blah, blah, blah.  

 

This really ticked Madea off, and she confronted him about… this not being the time to leave his wife at home with a new baby and two other kids ???

 

Madea… Was. Not. A. Fan. Of. Hex. and she was not shy about her disdain.  Every time they ended up in the hospital room together, it was downright entertaining to see her behavior.  

 

The day we left the hospital,  I wish I had a tape recorder for the tongue-lashing she gave Hex.  It didn’t phase him one bit, but I stifled my laughter so many times, I almost popped my C-section staples.

 

My parents were going to stay and help me take care of everything when Hex was gone. I was having a particularly painful recovery and then one night (just 2 nights before Hex was supposed to leave) we noticed the baby had a fever.  

 

A fever at less than a week old requires a trip to the Emergency Room and I just about lost it.  

 

Hex, my dad and I took her in, and after some preliminary tests…  our fears were confirmed. Her fever was bacterial, and if she didn’t get IV antibiotics and the source of the infection quickly found… she could die.  At the very least she would be admitted to the hospital for a minimum of three days.

 

Well, (even though this diagnosis might not have been deserving of such a response) I’m pretty sure I was channeling Shirley Maclaine’s scene in Terms of Endearment as I was on the ER hallway payphone trying to explain what was going on to my mom.  

 

I would guess those viewing this conversation, may have thought everyone I had ever loved, had been wiped out in some horrific accident.

 

Even though it was 9:00 pm, my second phone call was to our priest who came right over and blessed our baby girl with holy water held in a hospital styrofoam cup.  

I will never forget how grateful I was for his presence during (what I believed to be) the worst moment of my life.

I silently prayed to God (as I had been doing from the moment that thermometer showed a fever) and suddenly,  I felt calm.

 

Sure, I was still worried to death, but I knew she was in the Palm of God’s Hand and I felt a sense of peace.

 

 

I told Hex he should probably call his boss and explain the situation.  He said, since my parents were already in town to help, he felt comfortable still leaving on his trip.  (over 8,000 MILES away from US!!!).  

 

I wanted to march right up to the Maternity Ward to see if Madea was on duty and bring her down to the ER with me, because I knew this was a fight I couldn’t deal with.  

Luckily, my dad who had been a tower of strength for me during this whole ordeal… suggested Hex just make the phone call to at least “inform” his boss about what was going on.

 

When Hex returned from making the phone call, he looked terribly disappointed.  

 

He said his boss told him… To. Stay. In. Town.  That his family needed him now, and the company would simply send someone else.    

 

I wasn’t sure if I was glad or sad with this new revelation because, as serious tests (like a spinal tap for god-sake!!!) were being performed on our little baby, it was obvious his mind was somewhere else.

 

It was after midnight when we were finally moved up into a private hospital room. My dad drove back home and Hex and I accompanied our baby.  

 

In the room there was one metal crib and two reclining chairs.  Hex took one look at that chair and immediately asked a cot be brought in for him because… He. Could. Not. Sleep. In. A. Chair.  

The kind (and now bewildered) nurse said, as soon as they got the baby settled… she would address his needs.

 

It was late.  I was still very sore post-C-op, and with tubes and wires now attached to our little baby, it made nursing her quite a challenge.  I’ll never forget… there was Hex, laying on his cot, with his blankets pulled up to his chin.  

 

And while I struggled to lean into her crib, so I could feed our baby… he asked me to “turn off the lights” as they were too bright and keeping him awake.

 

That night I asked him to go home in the morning and please send my mother to the hospital.  

 

For the next two nights, my mother helped me navigate every feeding… even in the middle of the night.  

And late one night, while watching a Christmas Special on TV, as my mom slept in the reclining chair next to mine and my baby girl was sleeping in her metal hospital crib…

I felt the peace of God and gratitude fill my heart.

 

 

 

It turned out my baby girl was very young to present with Kidney Re-flux.  She was on daily antibiotics for the first two years of her life and had a couple more hospital visits… but luckily outgrew the condition before she was three.

 

Even though this ending was a happy one… my heart tears apart for those parents who don’t get the happy ending they pray for.  But that… Is. A. Topic. For. A. Whole. Other. Blog!

 

The Bridges I used to get through this health scare with my daughter were:

  1. Pray

  2. Know who to ask for support

  3. Pray

 

Please share the Bridges you used to get you through similar situations…

 

PS… Hex left for South Africa on day three.

 

 

After The Good Times

After The Good Times

Welcome Back!

 

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

EVERYONE Loves a Good Time… a party, vacation, the HOLIDAYS!!!

 

And some of us have a hard time after the Good Time… when everyone’s gone home and all that’s left to do is clean-up the mess.

 

Christmas is my favorite!!  The world of fun and joy opens right up during the weeks before Christmas.  Our house is filled with the sound of non-stop Christmas carols,  the aroma of Ginger Snap cookies baking in the oven, colorfully wrapped presents under the tree,  twinkling lights, and simply beautiful holiday decorations all around.

 

The anticipation of The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year is sometimes more excitement than I
can bare.
And vacations are the best!!  But when we get back home, there’s usually a pile of mail and heaps and heaps of dirty laundry.  Truth is, it is much more fun to pack your suitcase for a vacation, rather than empty it after you’ve returned back home.
 
So, how can we best navigate the transition from the Good Time to Back Home?  What are some Bridges that can help us achieve a more pleasant, and smooth RE-ENTRY?

 

 
I personally struggle to find those answers.  I’m the girl that actually kept her Christmas tree up until mid-February one year.  I just couldn’t bare to see it end.  So right before Valentines Day, I finally Took Down Christmas and quickly redecorated the house with festive hearts and cupids.

 

 
One of my closest friends has her tree un-decorated and at the curb by Christmas night.  Everything Christmas is cleaned up and put away until next year, all in less than 24 hours after “down the chimney St. Nicholas came with abound.”  There’s not even a crumb of a Christmas cookie or a strand of tinsel left behind.

 

I also had a neighbor that put an (electric) “Candle” in each window during Christmas and kept them up (and lit in the evenings) until Easter.  I actually loved seeing the candle’s glow throughout the long winter and into the spring… I thought it was a very cozy, warm touch.

 

 Those are only some extreme examples of how people approach transitioning from the Good Times to Back Home. Everyone handles things differently… in their own way… everyone has their own comfort zone.  And it would appear a healthy, balanced approach to transitioning lies somewhere in-between the extremes.
 
Ever since I was a little girl, I always loved a Good Time when people were happy and having fun… so transition was never easy for me.  Therefore, I have been working hard to navigate a healthier approach to Re-entry and have discovered some helpful Bridges.

 

 Be Mindful when you are Preparing for the Good Time

 

It’s a lot of fun when it’s a family event opening up 10 storage boxes of Christmas decorations, and everyone wants to cut down the biggest tree in the forest and after we’ve all hung our favorite ornaments in just the right spot, begins the excitement of who’ll get the honor of placing the Star on top… all while festive Christmas carols play in the background.

Then it comes time to Take Down Christmas and no one is the least bit interested in helping.  So, there you’ll be… most likely all alone, with no “Jolly Old Saint Nick” serenading you in the background.  Also, remember, the size of the tree is directly proportionate to the endless amounts of pine needles you’ll be vacuuming up until June.

Therefore, be mindful as to what (and how much) you put up during the Holidays… because chances are, it will not be as much fun (nor will you have much help) taking it down.

That goes for packing for a vacation as well.  PACK LIGHT.  The experts say “Pack your suitcase with everything you think you’ll need…and then take half of it out.”

There will be less laundry to face when you return, and emptying your suitcase won’t feel like an overwhelming task if it’s not bursting at the seams.

 

Be Patient and Kind to Yourself

 

Don’t be too hard on yourself.  Give yourself a day or two (if you can) to readjust after the Good Time.  Once you’ve gotten your energy back and reacclimated… then set up a reasonable plan.  Decide on manageable tasks you can accomplish in a reasonable amount of time.  Once you start checking off these tasks, you’ll start feeling efficient and will easily build the momentum to complete RE-ENTRY.

 

Home Sweet Home

 

Even though I love a Good Time as much as anyone… there’s nothing like Home Sweet Home.  Routine is so soothing.  There is peace and comfort that comes when everything is back to our version of normal.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My wise Spanish Grandmother had the perfect saying  about those

Good Times”

she always said:

“Noches Alegres, Mañana Triste”

 

 

 Please take a moment and share the Bridges you use for a smooth transition for the Good Times to Back Home in the comment section below.

 

Hellllloooooo……

Hellllloooooo……

Welcome to Bridges Back Home!!!!

My name is Lorilyn Bridges and I started this blog,  FB page and website to help people.

 

Life is forever changing. 

Changes = Challenges

 

These changes can be big or small, made by us or for us…

Controlled by us, others, or nature/climate and they can happen randomly.

 

Life is one amazing and wild ride.  Our journey is filled with many hills and valleys.  

 And the good news is we’re all in it together.

 

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

Identify your Back Home and the Bridges you use to get there!!

 

At BBH we are a community where you can celebrate your successes and failures, to help others along the way.  

And hopefully be enlightened as well!!

 

Welcome aboard!!

 Lorilyn