Tag Archives: peace

In The Moment…

In The Moment…

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

I don’t have anything to share today other than my desire to be in the moment.

My fingers won’t be tapping away at my keyboard, they’ll be digging in the dirt!!

Today the sun is shinning, the birds are chirping, the breeze is warm and I am simply grateful for the Blessing of Life.

I will plant my perennial garden and Give Thanks.

Because whether we perceive the changes and challenges in our life as  “good” or “bad”, everything we are given in life is a Blessing… sometimes it’s instantly clear… or it may take weeks or years to realize.

Sometimes we may never be fully aware of the blessing and sometimes our lives may be changed in a way we may never “see” as a blessing.

So, take a walk  Back  Home today if you can…

Breathe in the Sweetness of Nature, hear only the Song of your Surroundings, feel the Warmth of the Sun on your face…the Soft Breeze upon your skin and know in your Heart, everything happens for a reason and…

we all rest in the Palm of His Hand.

 

 

Keep It Simple, Keep It Real

Keep It Simple, Keep It Real

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

 

Keep it Simple…. Keep it Real.  

Sounds easy, huh??  Well, turns out (sometimes) it’s not so easy.  

Sometimes we become trapped by the Illusions of Life, and it’s hard to break free.

 

I recently had a birthday.

And like many people, my birthday’s not just a time to indulge in  

the-once-a-year-guilt-free-dark-chocolate-cake-n-mint-chocolate-chip-ice cream

it’s also a time for self-reflection.

 

This year I reflected upon the importance of “Keeping it Simple and Real”.  

Reminding myself to slow down and strive for clarity, balance and harmony.  

And remembering, sometimes the challenges in our lives, often teach us the best lessons.

 

I was a newlywed during the Reagan Era and was swooped-up into the,

More Is Better Mentality.  

Reaganomics resulted in the greatest Wall Street Bull Market since the 1920s.  

It was an Era of Great Prosperity… generating more wealth, for American families, than any other time in US History!!

 

And in keeping with Madonna’s (1985) mega-hit “Material Girl”… my lifestyle mirrored the relevant lyrics of the time:

Cause we are living in a material world

And I am a material girl

 

I checked ALL the boxes:

  • Town & Country McMansion 
  • Luxury Cars
  • Country Club Memberships
  • Black-tie Galas
  • Exclusive Resort Vacations
  • More & More & More!!

So, what insight did I gain from acquiring so much stuff during the 80s???

#1.  It was exhausting.

#2.  It made life chaotic, complicated and confusing!

#3.  Sometimes material things become a replacement for the

        more meaningful things in life.  

 

About a decade ago…there was one day that clearly put it all into perspective for me:

 

I was at a stop light and looked at the woman in the car next to me.  

She was lovely and had a look of luxury.  

Her hair perfectly coiffed, awesome sunglasses, expensive jewelry

and she had that confident smile and overall look of contentment.  

I noticed she was driving a Mercedes-Benz

and made a mental note to myself:

 

“Of course she’s HAPPY…

she’s living the dream in her fancy Mercedes,

with all of her  fancy “things”…”

 

In contrast, I felt worn-out, stressed, empty….

genuinely wanting.

It was easy for me to believe she had what I needed.

And as the light turned green, and I glanced back to the road ahead of me…

I noticed the Mercedes-Benz symbol on my own steering wheel

of my brand-new car.

 

Turns out for me, More wasn’t Better and Fancy things weren’t the answer!

 

Shortly after that day of reckoning…

I was faced with a choice between the two (material things or meaningful things), and I handed them all over in exchange for ___________.  

   (You Name It… Just Fill-in-the-Blank)

 Freedom

  Harmony

Reality

Clarity

Peace

                                                                          Truth

                                                                            Etc…

 

I handed it all back to the hollow person I shared that life with… (on a Silver Platter in fact, LoL) and I had No Regrets.

 

All of those Things were just providing smoke n’ mirrors to create an illusion and confuse me into believing, it was a Good Life…

when the truth was, I was in an empty relationship and I wasn’t living my life authentically.

I longed for something simple and real.

 

Don’t get me wrong… some people can live that exclusive “Town & Country Lifestyle”,

authentically and happily  (or at least I think they do??)…

it just wasn’t a good fit for me.  

It all became a band-aid and distraction to cover-up what was really missing…

what was truly important.

 

Of course, I still love pretty things and adventurous travel… But, I feel (at this ripe old age) the Bridges I’ve crossed have helped me to finally arrive Back  Home

Full Circle, where I belong, where I want to be.

 

Ironically, my sister sent me this Birthday Card which pretty much sums it up!!

.  

 

Keep It Simple, Keep It Real & Smile Along The Way!!!

 

Time Alone (When The Mouse Is Away, The Cat Has A Time-Out-Day)

Time Alone (When The Mouse Is Away, The Cat Has A Time-Out-Day)

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

 

My wonderful Hubster (whom I frankly Adore), recently took his son on a Snowmobiling Trip.

Not only was I grateful he has sons who can join him on those COLD Weather Adventures (somewhere up in Yukonesque Territory with below-zero-double-digit temperatures)…

I was also excited to have just a couple of days All Alone.

Okay, somewhat alone…with all the dogs.  And cat.  And goats.  And cattle…

 

Bottom line:  The minute they pulled out of the driveway (at the crack of dawn)… I felt like Kevin in  Home Alone !!!

 

But, instead of running from room to room waving my arms overhead…

when I finished cleaning up their breakfast dishes and feeding, watering, and letting animals out & in… and then out & in once again:

I went back to bed and took a Nap!

 

What. A. Luxury!!!

 

I am a Stay-At-Home-Wife (gladly)… but, contrary to what some might think,

I. DO.NOT. SIT. around with my feet up watching soap operas and eating Bon-Bons.

 

Quite the contrary!!!

 

We SAHW’s are a busy group.

As with any profession, you have hard chargers and loafers.  And I’m gonna guess most of us SAHW’s would crush your styreotype.

From the moment my alarm goes off at Noon (LoL, JK) 6:15AM… I am off and running!!

To be honest, I don’t have time to even turn on the TV during the day and have never eaten a Bon-Bon (unless it was a high-proof liqueur infused variety).

 

However, I will confess to eating handful’s of M&M’s sporadically during my day as I;

Run errands, cook, clean, grocery shop, organize, vacuum, tend to laundry ‘n animals, drive kid(s) to & from school, and try to keep up with my Blog, all the while orchestrating a smoothly running family calendar and household…

 

Oh, and did I mention, Cleaning!?!?

 

I’m not bragging or being a martyr or keeping score, because I love my job and I also happen to have a very hard-charging husband.

He also does more than his share around the house (mostly all the outdoor stuff!!!) plus has a Full-FULL-time job.

 

I’m simply setting the stage for why a Nap was a Luxury!!!  And why being alone, provided me with a weekend full of my kind of Luxuries…

 

Day 1

(single-digit-below-zero temps & weather advisory snowstorm)

 

It was a very cold and blizzardy day.  I forced myself to get up from my cozy nap and made myself Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup for breakfast and finally turned on the TV.

I planned to watch all those Grey’s Anatomy episodes I’ve had TiVoed forever, but after watching just two I was pretty bored.  Maybe Grey’s just isn’t the same without Derek???

I scanned HBO, but nothing looked all that interesting, so I made lunch.

I made a box of Jell-O “sugar-free” Chocolate Pudding and the whole thing fit into my bowl.  It was really good.  I didn’t even wait for it to cool, it was soooo good hot!!

 

By now you might realize I never bothered to make the bed… or get out of my pajamas; a pair of Gap plaid flannel pants and an old Grey’s Anatomy T-shirt that says: “Seriously.”

 

Seriously!

 

I must say… as I took care of the animals throughout the day, I kinda felt like they were judging my attire just a little bit…

 

                    Really?????

 

The rest of the day was unremarkable and passed slowly.

There was plenty of time to O.D. on social media: reading Blogs about life, decorating, girlie-girl things, etc…

I was able to catch-up with all my kids; via texting of course, because nobody seems to answer their phones nowadays.

And then I ended my evening, eating dinner (a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, without the milk) in bed and watching a sappy Hallmark movie until I fell asleep.

 

Day 2

 

Pretty much a repeat of Day 1!

Until about 3:00 PM, when I simply couldn’t take it anymore… I  bathed… dressed… and ventured out to Walmart in a virtual white-out-blizzard to get milk for “dinner”.

And to buy a “couple bags” of Hersey Foil Easter Eggs to replace the ones I’d been snacking on…

 

Day 3

 

For three whole days I took care of the animals, watched sappy girlie stuff on TV & pretty much did and ate whatever I felt like.  I didn’t have to think about anybody else or their needs.

I didn’t need to plan, prepare or clean-up any big meals…

I had resorted to recycling the use of just one bowl for all my meals.

 

And by the third day of being All Alone… I was really missing the Hubster!!!

 

Wise people say: Even the Sun burns when you get too much.  And the goal to a happy life is a Balanced Life.

 

So, after my three days of “Luxury”… I got up at 6:30AM… okay 9… and very HAPPILY (with Renewed Enthusiasm) tackled my regular SAHW routine and had everything Spic-n-Span, and a full course dinner waiting… when the Hubster returned Back Home!!!

 

Everybody needs a little time away… or so they say…

What would you do on your Time-Out-Day???

 

 

Spoiler Alert… (A Mother’s Prayers)

Spoiler Alert… (A Mother’s Prayers)

 

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

Spoiler Alert: This story has a Happy Ending!!

 

Someone posted the illustration below on FB the other day and it really hit home with me.    

Since having my three kids, I will admit I have never spent more time on my knees praying for their protection and well being.

FullSizeRender (11)

 

Even before I had kids, I always felt the most disturbing scene in a movie was when Shirley Maclaine’s character is pleading for pain medication for her dying daughter in Terms of Endearment.    

OMG, I can’t even post the actual clip here, because it literally tears my heart right out.

termsofendear4

The Fact is, when it comes to Our Children it seems

Worry and Love 

are synonymous and synergistic.  

Then again, I grew-up in a Sicilian/Spanish family, so I’m not sure if that increases the intensity of this synergistic effect.

♥ 

This all got me thinking about an important story in my life.

 

I delivered my third child, a daughter, the day before Thanksgiving.  It was my third C-section and this one was very complicated and difficult.  But, there were many reasons why she was my miracle baby.  

 

I remember every moment of her First Thanksgiving dinner…  

I was filled with gratitude as my precious baby girl and I snuggled together in our hospital bed.  She rested peacefully in my arms feasting on mama’s milk, while I looked forward to every delicious pump of my Morphine drip.    

 

And back home, my parents were having the full Thanksgiving dinner I had prearranged (from Wegman’s Catering) with my two young sons and husband (now, ex)… whom I will call “Hex”.

 

Before the family came to see us following their pumpkin pie dessert, in walked my favorite nurse to see how we were doing.  

I don’t remember her name, but I will call her: Madea because… She. Was. Madea.  

God, I LOVED her!!  She was AWESOME, Funny and Protective.  

 

On the day of my daughter’s delivery, Madea overheard Hex bragging about the important 10-day business trip to South Africa he’d be leaving for in less than a week, and how cool it was going to be…blah, blah, blah.  

 

This really ticked Madea off, and she confronted him about… this not being the time to leave his wife at home with a new baby and two other kids ???

 

Madea… Was. Not. A. Fan. Of. Hex. and she was not shy about her disdain.  Every time they ended up in the hospital room together, it was downright entertaining to see her behavior.  

 

The day we left the hospital,  I wish I had a tape recorder for the tongue-lashing she gave Hex.  It didn’t phase him one bit, but I stifled my laughter so many times, I almost popped my C-section staples.

 

My parents were going to stay and help me take care of everything when Hex was gone. I was having a particularly painful recovery and then one night (just 2 nights before Hex was supposed to leave) we noticed the baby had a fever.  

 

A fever at less than a week old requires a trip to the Emergency Room and I just about lost it.  

 

Hex, my dad and I took her in, and after some preliminary tests…  our fears were confirmed. Her fever was bacterial, and if she didn’t get IV antibiotics and the source of the infection quickly found… she could die.  At the very least she would be admitted to the hospital for a minimum of three days.

 

Well, (even though this diagnosis might not have been deserving of such a response) I’m pretty sure I was channeling Shirley Maclaine’s scene in Terms of Endearment as I was on the ER hallway payphone trying to explain what was going on to my mom.  

 

I would guess those viewing this conversation, may have thought everyone I had ever loved, had been wiped out in some horrific accident.

 

Even though it was 9:00 pm, my second phone call was to our priest who came right over and blessed our baby girl with holy water held in a hospital styrofoam cup.  

I will never forget how grateful I was for his presence during (what I believed to be) the worst moment of my life.

I silently prayed to God (as I had been doing from the moment that thermometer showed a fever) and suddenly,  I felt calm.

 

Sure, I was still worried to death, but I knew she was in the Palm of God’s Hand and I felt a sense of peace.

 

 

I told Hex he should probably call his boss and explain the situation.  He said, since my parents were already in town to help, he felt comfortable still leaving on his trip.  (over 8,000 MILES away from US!!!).  

 

I wanted to march right up to the Maternity Ward to see if Madea was on duty and bring her down to the ER with me, because I knew this was a fight I couldn’t deal with.  

Luckily, my dad who had been a tower of strength for me during this whole ordeal… suggested Hex just make the phone call to at least “inform” his boss about what was going on.

 

When Hex returned from making the phone call, he looked terribly disappointed.  

 

He said his boss told him… To. Stay. In. Town.  That his family needed him now, and the company would simply send someone else.    

 

I wasn’t sure if I was glad or sad with this new revelation because, as serious tests (like a spinal tap for god-sake!!!) were being performed on our little baby, it was obvious his mind was somewhere else.

 

It was after midnight when we were finally moved up into a private hospital room. My dad drove back home and Hex and I accompanied our baby.  

 

In the room there was one metal crib and two reclining chairs.  Hex took one look at that chair and immediately asked a cot be brought in for him because… He. Could. Not. Sleep. In. A. Chair.  

The kind (and now bewildered) nurse said, as soon as they got the baby settled… she would address his needs.

 

It was late.  I was still very sore post-C-op, and with tubes and wires now attached to our little baby, it made nursing her quite a challenge.  I’ll never forget… there was Hex, laying on his cot, with his blankets pulled up to his chin.  

 

And while I struggled to lean into her crib, so I could feed our baby… he asked me to “turn off the lights” as they were too bright and keeping him awake.

 

That night I asked him to go home in the morning and please send my mother to the hospital.  

 

For the next two nights, my mother helped me navigate every feeding… even in the middle of the night.  

And late one night, while watching a Christmas Special on TV, as my mom slept in the reclining chair next to mine and my baby girl was sleeping in her metal hospital crib…

I felt the peace of God and gratitude fill my heart.

 

 

 

It turned out my baby girl was very young to present with Kidney Re-flux.  She was on daily antibiotics for the first two years of her life and had a couple more hospital visits… but luckily outgrew the condition before she was three.

 

Even though this ending was a happy one… my heart tears apart for those parents who don’t get the happy ending they pray for.  But that… Is. A. Topic. For. A. Whole. Other. Blog!

 

The Bridges I used to get through this health scare with my daughter were:

  1. Pray

  2. Know who to ask for support

  3. Pray

 

Please share the Bridges you used to get you through similar situations…

 

PS… Hex left for South Africa on day three.

 

 

Hellllloooooo……

Hellllloooooo……

Welcome to Bridges Back Home!!!!

My name is Lorilyn Bridges and I started this blog,  FB page and website to help people.

 

Life is forever changing. 

Changes = Challenges

 

These changes can be big or small, made by us or for us…

Controlled by us, others, or nature/climate and they can happen randomly.

 

Life is one amazing and wild ride.  Our journey is filled with many hills and valleys.  

 And the good news is we’re all in it together.

 

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

Identify your Back Home and the Bridges you use to get there!!

 

At BBH we are a community where you can celebrate your successes and failures, to help others along the way.  

And hopefully be enlightened as well!!

 

Welcome aboard!!

 Lorilyn