Tag Archives: spoiled teens

Musket, Scalping & Trump Safe Zone

Musket, Scalping & Trump Safe Zone

Welcome Back!

Back ? Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

?

 

I awoke, Monday, November 21, on a cold, grey, snow-covered Northeast morning with my usual childlike faith:

That a new day… is a new chance… for a better day… than yesterday….

All I wanted to do was open up Facebook and Feel Good!  

Maybe chuckle at some clever Thanksgiving memes or watch a corny, irresistible YouTube video about a bunny and giraffe.  I was determined to rise above the gloomy dark clouds that seemed to be surrounding me.  Not just the ones outside, but those looming over our country and lurking around my upcoming holiday plans.

It was a loooong stretch to happy hour, so I decided to slowly scroll down my FB page for a little pick-me-up.  I hoped to God I’d luckily stumble upon that video of those adorable twin babies laughing uncontrollably at rubber bands or maybe find an easy 3-step recipe for a yummy Thanksgiving dessert shared from Delish.  And I was seriously dreading those polarizing political post that have been going viral lately… like the ones praising the cast of Hamilton… or Tomi Lahren’s Final Thoughts. 

Facebook used to be my Happy Place… my place to connect with friends and family regardless of beliefs and backgrounds.  It brought out the best in all of us and focused on our similarities (like finding it entertaining to learn what your name would be back in the 1800’s), rather than our differences that tear us apart.

And, that’s what the Holidays are supposed to do too….    Bring Us Together….     Right?!?!

But lately everything’s all screwed up… even more than normal.  The 2016 Presidential election tore families and friends apart and probably caused an unprecedented spike in nationwide alcohol sales and Xanax prescriptions.  

Three weeks ago, things were supposed to finally settle down, but they’ve gotten worse.  Social media has become a bloodstained battlefield for our country’s raging conflict and division.  My loving niece actually DEFRIENDED me because I wasn’t with HER, even though I wasn’t with HIM.

And forget fighting over the Electoral College being a stupid idea… who was the genius to put the election so close to Thanksgiving.  Aren’t these wonderful Holidays, when family and friends gather together to give thanks and spread kindness, challenging enough without pouring gasoline on potential sparks.

People are white hot mad at each other.  But for goodness sake people… We. Are. All. Diverse. Complicated. Individuals… AND we all have to find a way to live Together… accepting one another’s right to believe and think differently.  We’re y’all sleeping during History class or what?!?!?!  Intolerance only ends in pain and suffering.

Even on the bloodiest battlefields of World War II…  on Christmas Day, opposing soldiers came together for the sake of Holiday Peace and Joy.  So I am begging US… people of the United States of America to cool down your feverish fight against your opposition (whoever it may be) and come together this holiday season.  

Remember, those you oppose are equally as passionate and determined that their beliefs are right.  Don’t forget what two opposing groups came together for the FIRST Thanksgiving Dinner… if those guys resisted the urge to scalp and musket shoot each other… than I think we can resist the urge to talk smack about politics.

Let’s try to make Facebook and the Thanksgiving dinner table a Safe Place.  

No polarizing political posts.  Put down your swords and pick-up your Pumpkin Pie forks.  I for one need some happy in my Holidays.  I  just bought 3 outrageously expensive airline tickets with my dwindling meager retirement money to spend Thanksgiving with my 80-something parents and other relatives, including my “defriending” niece.  

And the whip cream on my pumpkin pie is my two travel buddies are my bratty, entitled, Teenager of divorce, and my (almost-approaching-normal-&-nice-adult-level-behavior) 22 yr old.

So, come on people now, just like the Youngbloods wisely said:

Smile on your brother

Everybody get together

Try to love one another

Right now………………………. 

I Pledge to break into song… singing the above chorus… any time someone tries to go “Political” at the dinner table or whines about how the divorce ruined their life and they want… want…. want……………….

And my caterwauling will surely put an end to any poor behavior, because everyone will be cleaning up the shattered wine goblets!!

I dare you to take the Pledge…….????

 

 

 

 

I recently wrote a piece on why today’s Teens (Generation Z) have a reputation for being:

Lazy

Self-Entitled

Apathetic

Spoiled Rotten.

 

I will admit there are some teens that defy this pathetic reputation.  Thank goodness we still have teens being inducted into the ranks of Eagle Scout, The National Honor Society, etc…

Someone’s gonna have to sign our SS checks in 10+ years.  

These hard working, volunteering, high achieving, scholarship winning, stellar athlete, good-grade getting teens are out there.  I see their parents proudly posting their achievements on FB everyday!!  

And how does this happen… ???… was the kid just born that way...???… was it Healthy Neglect on the part of the parents…???… Fate…???… Luck…???… All the above?!?!

 

But what about today’s Spoiled-Brat-Teens??

Well…I blame their Parents:  

The Parents who were born on The Baby Boomer & Generation X Cusp.  

Known for great success in educational, financial and social arenas.  

Portrayed as a powerful generation of optimism, and high, over–achievement.

(of which I am a guilty member)

 

We were given all the resources to be perfect parents and successfully raise the perfect kid.

We just can’t bear to see our children fail.  

We’ll do anything to save our children from experiencing the pain, discomfort or direct consequences of their bad choices.  Because that may indicate we were bad parents!!! (Gasp!!!)  So, we Over-Parent!!!!!

 

Are we helping… or hurting??

Them    = hurting

Us         = hurting

Society = hurting

 

Gen. Z is going to be running this country one day.  A scary thought??  Damn right!!

And if they have a fighting chance of changing their flawed character and bad reputation…

the change is going to have to start with us, The Parents.

 

 LET’S EXAMINE TWO EXAMPLES WHERE CHANGE CAN START :

                                                                                         1.  Parental Portal

                                                                                        2.  Home Chores (next Blog)

 

Parent Portal  

The Parent Portal is defined as a tool for parents to stay informed and engaged in their child’s education.

Teachers post EVERYTHING on the Parent Portal: from grades to their daily lecture notes.

So, at any minute, The Parent can have access to a virtual seat right in their child’s classroom.

Is this a good or a bad thing???

Elementary School = good

Middle School = possibly good

High School = BAD!!!

 

Don’t get me wrong, I can understand the importance of parental involvement in their child’s academic development.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET”S HOPE BY HIGH SCHOOL WE CAN STOP HOLDING THEIR HAND!

(Yet how many parents are going to feel responsible for filling out those College Applications……????)

 

This September I attended an Open House for my youngest child…

who is a junior in high school  and every single teacher gave the same speech.

They encouraged us to check the Parent Portal “regularly” (daily), so we could help our kids remember their daily homework assignments, exam dates, project deadlines, etc…

They reminded us their lecture notes were also posted, so we could help our teens understand the subject matter if necessary.  

I jotted down their recommendations “word-for-word” like all of the other high achieving dutiful parents at Open House and finally I just wanted to scream: “EXCUSE ME…… ARE YOU KIDDING?!?!?”

I AM THE PARENT… NOT THE STUDENT!!!

Been there…did that.  Got the T-shirt AND the Diploma… On my own, Thank You Very Much!!!

My day is pretty busy as it is, and I certainly DO NOT have time to micro-manage my teen’s school day.

 

So, why do High School teachers feel it is the Parent’s responsibility for their student to succeed????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Why is the  “Student”  disappearing from this picture??????????????????????????

Teacher <——>  Student  <—–> Parent

 

We have no one to blame but ourselves!!! 

Beginning in Elementary school,  we conditioned our kids and the school system, to count on us to Save The Day!  

 

For example:

Remember the Sugar Cube Igloo our kid had weeks to complete that was built the Sunday night before its due date, with an architectural structure worthy of our mechanical engineering degree.

Same goes for the authentic Iroquois Longhouse complete with working fire-pit… the essay on Amelia Earhart and the book report & diorama on Moby Dick…

God-forbid the kid suffer the consequences of having zero interest or followthrough in completing their school projects… mom &/or dad will swoop in at the last minute and make sure the kid arrives to school Monday morning with a finished product worthy of an A+.

Problem:  By high school these coddled kids, (who have never suffered the consequences of their bad decisions) are… Lazy and Apathetic.

Cause: The Parent believes it is their responsibility to guarantee their kid is a successful student, ultimately proving they’re successful at parenting.  

Solution:  STOP!!!  Let them Fail.

 

We may ALL have to experience the discomfort of growing pains during the process of change…

but in the end it will be well worth it!!  

Honestly, our future depends on it!!

 

LET’S STOP TRYING TO SAVE OUR KIDS FROM THE PAIN OF THEIR OWN BAD DECISIONS….

When we back down, teacher’s can then start to hold the students solely responsible for their own choices!!!

The Top 3 Things Wrong With Generation Z ( a.k.a Today’s Teens)

The Top 3 Things Wrong With Generation Z ( a.k.a Today’s Teens)

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

 

Today’s teens who were born between 1994 and 2004, belong to Generation Z.

 

And Gen. Z doesn’t get the best press.

  • A Huffington Post described Gen. Z as “lazy, unaware, and apathetic”.
  • “Gen. Z is entitled, lazy, selfish, tech savvy, and yet incompetent,” -S. Greenfield
  • “Many describe Gen. Z as lazy, self-entitled, tech-dependent, and narcissistic.” -D. Sylvia

 

So, What’s wrong with today’s teenagers???

  1. Their PARENTS!
  2. Their PARENTS!
  3. Their PARENTS!

These Parents were born on The Baby Boomer & Generation X Cusp.  

Known for great success in educational, financial and social arenas.  

Portrayed as a powerful generation of optimism, and achievement.

 

Elite Daily had an article that compared today’s teens with their parents:

Generation Z is used to being spoon fed everything, while their parents worked hard for everything that they currently have.

The Baby Boomer generation understood that the world didn’t owe them anything. They were a more independent generation, as they didn’t really have much of a crutch to lean on in comparison to Gen. Z.

Gen.Z’s an entitled generation, babied by their parents and society and it has really damaged their work ethic and the way they go about life.

They expect things to be done for them and if something requires a little extra work or concentration, they’re easily deterred from doing it.

 

Do I get a: AMEN!!!!!

 

Spring is in the air and it’s a perfect time to witness this phenomenon.

As the temperatures rise, so does the blood pressure of most The Parents.

 

Here are some examples:

  • Billy is failing Biology and the final exam is only weeks away.

Who’s in a panic, Billy or The Parents?

Ummmm, The Parents?  

Yep!

WHAT CAN THEY DO???  They scramble to find a tutor….$50/hour…$100…

No problem, they’ll do anything to prevent Billy from experiencing the direct consequences of the poor choices he made all year long.  

 

  • Katie’s Prom is next month

She finds her favorite dress on the internet.  It’s perfect and she has to have it, but it costs more than most wedding dresses and Katie doesn’t have a job.  

Does she get the dress?

Of course she does!

The Parents buy it for her and, they’ll also throw in a stretch Limo and host a lavish pre-prom photo-op party for all of Katie’s friends and their Parents.

Everyone will look stunning in all the pics posted on FB, especially Katie in her lovely dress..

 

  • Nikki’s a Junior and college is 2 years away

Does she have to worry about it now?

Nope.  She probably hasn’t even given it a minutes thought,

BUT THE PARENTS HAVE.

Infact, The Parents have probably spent most of their Spring

  • Researching ACT/SAT testing dates and review classes to sign her up for
  • Mapping out college visits
  • Getting all the ducks in a row for the college application process

And Nikki will accompany The Parents on these college visits, looking apathetic and mostly texting on her phone and taking selfies along the campus tour.

 

I have a confession:  I was born in 1963 and I have three kids… do the math.

 

Our kids are CODDLED… SPOILED.

And we only have ourselves to blame.

 

Why can’t we let our kids experience their own failures… the disappointments of not getting everything they want?  

 

Are we protecting them or ourselves??

Are we so addicted to success, that we can’t even imagine our own children may fail?  

Do we feel our children’s achievements or failures are a reflection of us… our strength, weakness or flaws??

 

Even if we won’t admit it… It’s common knowledge we’ll do anything to help our kids succeed.

 

Our kids know it and so does everyone else.

 

In fact, high school teachers and administrators will bet on it.  

They know teens will do NOTHING all year long and therefore rely on The Parents to swoop in, save the day and make sure there will be students to pass and graduate.  

So, they created this thing called The Parent Portal and it enables The Parents to enable their teens.  

Most High School Websites now have a “Parent Portal” where The Parents can (at any moment) access their teens class schedule, assignment/project/quiz/ test deadlines and grades.

It’s like The Parents can now have a VIRTUAL SEAT right in their Teens Classroom!!!!

 

Ironically, The Parents  graduated from high school and college with very little help or involvement from their own parents and yet feel DIRECTLY responsible for the academic success or failure of their own kids.  

Heck, my parents didn’t even know where my high school was!!

 

So, while our teens are absorbed in their social-media life…perfecting their duckie-face selfie or building their biceps at the gym… we’re chewing their food and spitting it into their mouths like momma Robins.   

 

And their still FAILING…  

Which just makes us work harder at saving them, because God-forbid they fail a class…

How will they get accepted into a GOOD COLLEGE?????  

And once they get into college, this dynamic will just continue.

They’ll perform mediocre at best as we struggle to write every tuition check.  If their failing a course, we’ll encourage them to “DROP IT!!”.  We’d rather pay for courses they didn’t take, than have them suffer the consequences of an F.  And we’ll all stay on this Hamster Wheel, until we STOP!

These kids don’t stand a chance at any resemblance of personal or professional success, UNLESS we remove their CRUTCH… (by realizing we’re the Crutch)!!!

So, in the upcoming weeks… among the onslaught of FB posted Prom, Senior and Graduation pics… steady yourself for the declaration of “What college acceptance Billy’s chosen!!!”   

And who do you think will be posting all of these accomplishments….                                                                                                The Teen or The Parent that earned them?

[Disclaimer: Yes, maybe there’s always that one teen & parent that’s an exception…  😉  ]