Tag Archives: Women’s Rights

The Conversation on the Day of the Women’s March No One’s Gonna Like

The Conversation on the Day of the Women’s March No One’s Gonna Like

Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in.  

There are defined groups of beliefs and ideologies in our society and I often find myself in the gray overlap between two opposing groups of thought.  Especially when discussing the two taboo subjects of politics and religion.  Boom… yes, I said it… politics and religion…

I was raised in the Roman Catholic faith and yet I describe myself as a Cafeteria Catholic.  There are so many things I like and do not like about the R.C. Church… so, I find myself taking what I like and leaving the rest. And that behavior has left many devout Catholics denying I am a Catholic. So be it.

I am not a Democrat or Republican.  

I am not liberal or conservative.

I am not a feminist or misogynist (obviously).

And I also find myself sitting somewhere in between the pro-life and pro-choice groups.  My personal beliefs are not popular with either group and I find myself once again not feeling a member of either.  So be it.

But, on the exact day millions of women were marching in DC for Women’s Rights… the latter example popped up in a conversation with my very strong minded, very independent, very liberal, very sweet 18 year old daughter.  In her opinion I am pro-life … and as she sat across the table from me eating a taco salad… she asked a little inquisitively and with some obvious judgement in her voice: “Mom, how can you be pro-life… how can you NOT be pro-choice?!?!”  All being said with a look of disgust on her face which made me think she may had just bit into her lime garnish.

I smiled and answered… “Actually, I don’t think the pro-lifers would include me in their group.”

“But you’re not pro-choice!… so what are you mom?”

I gave it a seconds thought, and with all the women’s march drama swirling in my mind, I blurted out:    “I’m pro-women”.  To which she fake coughed her reply… “Bullsh*t”.

And then I tried to explain to my daughter why I believe I’m pro-women:

“Honestly, I’m torn on this whole pro-life/pro-choice debate. I can see valid points made in both arguments… but from my perspective it looks like this…  

There are individual situations where an abortion may be necessary.  I’m not going to debate why or why not a situation is necessary, although I would hope common sense could help determine true “necessity”.  (This belief will keep me from belonging to the PL group)

And because I believe abortions are probably very painful psychologically, emotionally and physically for the women having to choose and have one, if we don’t make them such an easily accessible choice… maybe it will actually encourage women to consider other options that cause less suffering?  Or help women make life choices to not put themselves in the position to need one …?”

My daughter didn’t look convinced, so I continued…

“Many people believe women must have control and a choice over their bodies.  I agree with that, however I see it differently.  The one thing (at this point in time) we don’t have any control over is… if sexual intercource results in a pregnancy… it is the woman, who get’s pregnant. Therefore, her control and choice over her body truly begins whether she chooses to have sexual intercourse or not, and whether she trusts birth control or not.  Because once she’s pregnant, it’s not just about her anymore.”  

This is when my sweet daughter got feisty.

“MOM!!!!!”…. “YOU ARE SUCH A SEXIST!!!!!!!” She spat out.

I laughed “Honey, I don’t think they’d let me in their group either”

So be it.

 

International Women’s Day (Really?!?!)

International Women’s Day (Really?!?!)

Welcome Back!

Back  Home = happy place (physically & mentally)

Bridges = help us get there

 

I was all set to write today’s blog…

Until I opened up my computer and Google informed me it was:

International Women’s Day.  

 

.Watch Video Clip Here!!

 

After watching the clip, I decided to abandon my original idea. 

Instead, I decided to write about what it’s like to be a woman in 2016 from my perspective, and my opinion on International Women’s Day.

 

Many of you will vehemently disagree with me… and that’s fine.  

It’s just my opinion… and one inalienable right We Women Do Have is:    

 The Freedom to Agree, to Disagree.

 

First of all, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as International Women’s Day!!!  

Frankly, I’m a little humiliated anyone thinks we need one.

And… WoW, was I surprised by my very strong reaction to watching that clip!!

 

It made me very sad to see those women and young girls saying:

“One day I will … ___________ (fill in the blank).”

 

Why did this make me so sad???   

 

Because, I have never in my life seen anything more outrageously ridiculous than women trying to be E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. !!!

 

It’s 2016, for God’s sake, and we are still fighting and thrashing and stomping our feet saying that We Want Equality (With Men)!

It seems women want to do EVERYTHING a man can do and be everything a man can be.

 

But, do we have an International Men’s Day???

Do we see men saying:

“One day I will be the Prima Ballerina performing Odette or Odile in Swan Lake.”

Or,

“One day I will deliver a baby without pain medication.”

I don’t think so!!

 

I mean… when are women going to embrace being women???  

WE. ARE.  DIFFERENT!  

 

Face the reality.  Does being different make us less than a man???  

Of course Not!  

But for goodness sake can we finally just accept we are Different, and own it?

(Let’s ROCK IT Ladies!!)

We can do things men can’t, and men can do things we can’t.  Period!

 

Social media defines the second wave of feminism as the Women’s Movement of the 60s, which focused on issues like: sexuality, family, the workplace, de facto inequalities and legal inequalities.  

  • They fought hard for women’s rights and equality.  
  • They had many valid concerns. (I am a huge proponent of equal pay for equal work.)  
  • They also paved the way for women to be doctors, astronauts, company CEO’s and possibly even President of the United States.  

 

The Women’s Movement said we could be anything we wanted…

We.  Could.  Have.  It.  All!

(Cough-Cough-Bullsh*t!!!)

 

Hum????  Let’s take a close look at things…

We were liberated and given endless opportunities.  Right?

So, how’s that working for us??

Did it improve our lives… our lifestyle???

Or are we F#*%ed ?!?

 

Let’s ask Mrs. Nowak.   The Astronaut, Wife and Mother of Three, who looked like she had it all.  

You remember her… the woman who drove cross-country in diapers to kidnap her ex lover’s new girlfriend.

 

Or we can ask the woman who wants to be President of the United States, if she has it all… the high-power career and the happy, fulfilling marriage, etc… or is it just one big LIE.

 

I do think it’s great women have so many more opportunities than they had years ago.

BUT, let’s be realistic and honest… 

Having. It. All. Comes. With. A. PRICE.

So, if your going to grab that Big Brass Ring, do it with your eyes wide open.

Today, Women Have Many Choices…

Which Means We Have To Make Them As Carefully As Ever!!

 

I see so many of today’s women running themselves ragged, trying to Have It All!

For example, in a “typical” family: 2.5 children, where the husband and wife both work…

The mom typically drops the kids off early in the morning at daycare,

then works a full day and rushes back to pick them up

(with groceries wilting in the car)

so she can rush home and make dinner,

throw in a load of laundry,

bathe the kids, put them to bed

and clean up the house,

before collapsing in bed,

So she can wake-up and Do It All again tomorrow!!!

 

Sometimes the mom and dad equally split the parental and household responsibilities… but that is rare.  

Because even in 2016… Unfortunately, the man’s job still trumps the woman’s.

He’s more likely to travel & have early morning/late night business meetings,

leaving her home to do it all alone.

Yes… I know there are some exceptions, but that’s the problem…

they’re the “exceptions” and not the rule.

 

Whether we want to admit it or not… the default caretaker of parental and household responsibilities (by nature), still falls on the shoulders of the woman.

 

Equality in our domestic roles/responsibilities

have not adapted as quickly as

equality in our workplace roles/responsibilities.

 ♦

We should have first focused on creating the changes

in the infrastructure of our society,

necessary to accommodate

the changes of equality we ultimately wanted

for women in our society.

 ♦

WE put the damn cart before the horse and

now we’re killing ourselves to make it work!!!

 

 

This International Women’s Day campaign asks the question?

How will you mark the day?

 

I’d like to mark the day by making a suggestion:

Yes… the system is broken.

And we need to fix it.

I just believe in using a different solution.

Let’s stop trying to fit a round peg in a square hole

and finally decide to drill a round hole!!

How will you mark the day?